Evil Bovine Support

At the moment, all support information is located with the tutorial section of each of our products.

Apart from those resources, we do not offer generic technical support except for cases of emergency. Please consult the Toolbars or Browsers page for information on your specific product.

Also, if you are using a Toolbar, please see the "Tutorial" section, which is available from the left-side pull down menu on your browser bar, as shown below:

Please keep in mind that the Toolbars can be easily uninstalled by clicking the "Uninstall" button in the left-side pull down menu, as shown above, which removes all traces of the program from your PC entirely.

Have an emergency and still need to contact us? Click here

Frequent Questions:

Who is the Evil Bovine Master - Really?

That's a question that is better left "un-asked", if you know what I mean. Let's just say that those who have had any kind of personal experience with the evil bovine master have rarely returned from the meeting unscathed.

In most cases, they've been subjected to bitter slavery, like Lothar. The lucky ones got away with only having the smaller-sized, less-crucial body parts and appendanges torn off and sacrificed to the sacred pyramid upon which the statue of the Evil Bovine Master rests.

That's not what you want, now is it?

Why is the Evil Bovine Master so mean to Lothar?

Because Lothar is a slave. It didn't help much that he was from New York, either...

I Need Some Help - What Do I Do?

We're glad that you've taken the most important step in becoming a better person - admitting that you need help.

The next step is to remove your screwed-up self from our website and admit yourself to a mental ward of some kind with creepy hallways and white rubber rooms.

Oh - you mean help with one of our products? - I see...

Well, first you need to consult the Tutorial that came with your browser or toolbar. If that doesn't help you, then you can contact us here.

The Toolbar and/or Browser Won't Work on My Computer?

The first thing to do is to answer these four questions:

1. Do I have a computer?

2. Is the computer plugged in and turned on?

3. Do I have an internet connection?

4. Is my computer a PC and NOT a Mac?

If you answered a "YES" to each of those questions, then please keep reading below for some plausible solutions. If you answered "NO" to at least one of them, then the problem with your product is that you're an idiot, and we don't provide support for those types of issues.

Now, the remaining problems might be that:

* You don't have a version of Internet Explorer that's at least newer than version 6.0. If that's the case, you need to download it from Microsoft.com (free)

* Your browser or internet security settings may be preventing a third-party application to download, run and install the program. Please contact or consult the appropriate source in order to find out how to adjust your security settings to enable our products to run properly.

* Your computer sucks and you should buy a new one

If you're Evil, then why should I trust that your Software is Adware, Virus and Spyware free?

Well, in reality, we use the "Evil" tag as a platform for driving more traffic to our site because it's humorous, controversial and because it makes doing this just a little bit more fun.

Now, just so you know, we do make money each time someone purchases a solution that we recommend from within the toolbar or browser, and therefore our primary goal is to create something VALUABLE and USEFUL that someone will actually want to KEEP in their browser (or on their PC) on their own volition - regardless if they buy what we recommend or not.

There's enough free tools and functions in our products to make them well worth keeping - and that's a rarity in the Toolbar/Browser marketplace.

That's why our software, unlike SO many others, is as easy to completely remove as it is to install - one click.

Now, back to the "Evil" persona...

Hey, Your Software Gave My Computer a Virus, Made My Girlfriend Dump Me and Caused Another Civil War in Africa!!

No, actually, it didn't.

We test all of our software for potential threats before it gets uploaded (just in case one of our computers was infected and somehow transferred a bug in our install files).

Furthermore, our business model is built on one of VALUE. We only stay in business by creating something that people like you will actually use, keep and use over and over again. It would be only detrimental to our business to include viruses, spyware, malware or adware of any kind in our software programs.

However, we cannot control what happens to our software once it leaves our site. We therefore strongly encourage you to use a scanning program such as Norton Anti-Virus to scan any download originating from another site (Freeware directories, etc.) BEFORE opening the file.

As for your girlfriend dumping you and the African civil wars, well - what can we say?

(You can't prove anything - muaahahaha...)

What Do You Think About Global Warming?

Now that's a "Hot Topic", ha ha ha.

Ha.

Okay, seriously, stop reading the FAQ's. Go do something useful. For example, you could go and buy an SUV.

I just bought one - it'll come in handy for all those loads of pop bottles and styrofoam that I need to take to the landfill for BURNING and SOIL CONTAMINATION.

Speaking of contamination - I think it's lunch time...